apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Randomize
