Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
