I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
