i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
