I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
it was like eating out sand paper
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
