I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
