EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
