The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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