someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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