Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
