What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Never joke about your clitoris.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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