if you like me you must not know who I am
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
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