I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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