you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Randomize
