Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
