no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
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