Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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