I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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