im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
