they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
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