you would pick up someone in the library
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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