i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
