Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
