what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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