girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
