If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
