oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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