Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
