there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
