I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize
