Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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