We won't sleep together?
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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