I skipped work to stalk him.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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