Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
