He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
