So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
