I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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