I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
