Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
