dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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