her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
