i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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