we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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