I showed him my bush... on skype.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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