YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I bet he comes in French.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
