My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
