I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
