i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
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