Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off

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(954): View more from Florida

Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?

(787): View more from Puerto Rico

No, it just says ur easy

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(585): View more from New York

Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know

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(559): View more from California

Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him

(412): View more from Pennsylvania

my aim is off when im drunk

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