I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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